


Please come back to me

by orphan_account



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-09
Updated: 2013-05-09
Packaged: 2017-12-10 16:23:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/788057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><img/><br/>Banner by Stormy</p><p>Though it had been a while since he ended it, he still hasn’t been able to forget… So hearing that he might be in a new relationship came as a shock.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please come back to me

**Author's Note:**

> And another new try: A fanfiction in which Jin and Kame have already been in a relationship. Hope you’ll like it! ^^  
> Insert Song: KAT-TUN - On your mind

** Please come back to me **

I hesitated for a moment in front of the door to our record studio, taking a deep breath before setting up my best smile. I needed to seem cheerful – the guys would be breathing down my neck all day anyways, so I should do my best to convince them that I was over it, and that I was not spending my time moping around in my flat eating ice cream anymore. No matter if it was true or not.

When I finally opened the door, peaking inside, the others didn’t notice me at first, though. Nakamaru was nowhere to be seen, and Koki, Taguchi and Ueda stared down at the display of Taguchi’s iphone, talking in hushed whispers.

I tiptoed towards them, wanting to surprise them. When I heard my name, I arched an eyebrow, listening more closely.

“… that Kame doesn’t see it. It’s hard enough without this for him.”

“But I can’t believe he would do something like that! I mean, he always seemed like-“

“Booh” I breathed into Ueda’s ear, cutting him off. He turned around, looking at me with big, panicky eyes. It was almost comical.

“What don’t you want me to see?” I asked curiously.

“Nothing” Koki said firmly, and Taguchi tried to make his phone disappear quickly, but I was faster, snatching it away from him.

“Don’t be ridiculous” I chuckled, looking down at the display. “Whatever it is, it can’t be-“ I paused, reading the headline of the internet article.

_Akanishi Jin and dancer Aubree Storm an item?_

My face fell, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe, as if something was pressing down on my chest, threatening to crush me.

**Naturally, you were always there**

There was a picture under the article, of Jin dancing with her. She was pretty, I had to admit it – the way her red locks covered her face as she moved… She was definitely Jin’s type, I could tell. He liked foreign women.

I tried to get myself together, though, no matter how much the news that Jin could be dating another girl hit me. I knew the others were watching me. No need to break down about it. It was over, after all. I had ended it myself.

“Well, that’s nice” I forced out, trying to smile as I gave the phone back to Taguchi. “It’s good if he’s happy, isn’t it?”

The others were silent at my words, still watching me, and I turned away from them, murmuring something about getting myself a coffee before slipping out of the room again. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Koki glaring at Taguchi, hitting him on the back of his head.

I concentrated on breathing in and out as I walked down the corridors, searching for a coffee machine. Unbidden memories fought their way back inside my mind, and I gulped, trying to not let them get to me, but it was hard, harder than it should be after all this time.

_Jin’s gentle smile… The way his eyes shone mischievously when he had one of his many stupid ideas… The way they turned a tiny nuance darker before he leaned down to kiss me…_

**You were important, but I never told you**

I had never been good at expressing my feelings. I had never been able to tell him that I loved him, but I think he knew. It was not hard to tell, really – he had known me better than anyone else had, so he should have noticed that I had been happier than ever before with him.

I had tried to give him everything, I really had. But then he had to go and ask for things I couldn’t have possibly given.

**You were too close**

_“Kazu, you know how much I always wanted to do this!” he had said quietly, his eyes pleading, no, begging. “It’s a huge chance for me. It’s America, Kazu! I need to do this!”_

_“Then do it” I had whispered, looking down to not meet his eyes. I don’t think I could have in that very moment; I’d have broken down from the weight of it if I had. “Do it, but without me.”_

_“Kazu!” he had breathed desperately, grabbing my hand, squeezing it. I didn’t pull it away, but I didn’t respond to his touch, either. “Don’t! Don’t say that! We can do this, we-“ he had tried to search for words, but not finding any._

_“We can’t, Jin” I had continued instead, quiet but firm. “We’ve been through this before in 2007, and it was hell. I can’t do it again. We hardly manage to be alone when we work together! We fight over the silliest things as it is! How are we supposed to keep this relationship when you are on the other side of the world?”_

_“It will work out!” he had promised, his voice shaky. “We will work something out, Kazu! Just please – please don’t leave me, I-“_

_“Maybe you can do it” I had murmured, finally pulling my hand from his, crossing my arms in front of my chest, as if I needed it to hold myself together. “But I can’t. I’m not that strong, Jin!”_

_“Kazu” Jin had whispered, his voice thick with emotions now. “Don’t do that! Don’t… I love you!”_

_I had gulped at his words, my jaw clenching. I loved him too, but like always, I didn’t say it. Anyways, what would have been the use to say it now, when we were about to break up?_

_“Please go now” I had whispered instead, still not looking at him._

_Jin had let out a quiet sob. I had known that he was crying without even looking at him. He had always been prone to tears. Then, he had finally gotten up, walking out of my flat, and out of my life. It wasn’t until he had closed the door behind him that I had broken down too, the tears running down my cheeks, blurring my vision._

I finally reached the coffee machine, throwing the coins inside, pressing the buttons. Until today, I wondered if it had been the right decision to break up. It had been sudden, out of the blue, but in that moment, it had felt like the only solution.

I had been overstrained with the situation when Jin had told me about his plans to go to America. I had thought that we were happy, and that things had been going exactly the right way.

I would have never thought about leaving, about only changing the slightest thing. But obviously, he had felt differently. He had not been content with the way things had been, and it had hit me hard. So I had concluded that breaking up and letting him, and possibly myself as well, move on would be the best solution.

But now, months later, when I was still unable to forget him, I wondered if there would have maybe been another way. Maybe, if I wouldn’t have been that proud, maybe…

I took the cup of hot steaming coffee from the machine, beginning to walk back towards the studio.

I still remembered the day Jin had said goodbye, as clearly as if it had been yesterday. It had been here, in the agency’s buildings, when he had packed the things and bid his farewell to everyone.

_The rest of KAT-TUN had been rather cold towards him. Ueda and Koki had immediately taken my side, being the opinion that Jin was a selfish ass and that I was better off without him. That the whole band was better off without him, really. I hadn’t had the strength to argue with them to be fair. I knew that, even I Jin had gone out of the noblest of reasons, they would have not forgiven him for hurting me. Though I was the leader of the band, I was still the youngest, and sometimes, it seemed like they still wanted to protect me._

_Taguchi had been overstrained with such a difficult situation, so he had kept quiet mostly, not talking to anyone. Nakamaru had been the only one trying to comfort Jin a little, but you could tell that he was caught between the lines, so it was difficult._

_He had saved me for the end. After he had talked to everyone, he had sat down on a chair opposite to me, locking eyes with me. I remembered how his eyes had been full of sadness and desperation, as if he was still hoping that I would change my mind in the last moment. But I didn’t._

_“Kazu, I-“ he had cut himself off, looking down, breaking our gaze. I knew what he had been about to say, anyways. I could read him like an open book. Every part of him spelled those three words._ I love you.

**Always, when you are about to say something,  
you sink into silence and cast your eyes downwards**

_“Goodbye” he had said instead as he looked up at me again. “Take care of yourself.”_

_I had only nodded, not looking at him as he had left. Maybe I should have said something like “Good luck”, but it would have been meaningless phrases, so I didn’t._

I nipped on my hot coffee as I strolled down the corridors, taking my time. I knew that when I was back with the others, I needed to set up a face like I was over it, like I didn’t care anymore if Jin was in a new relationship or not.

I wondered how it had happened. Had he confessed to her? Or she to him?

_I still remembered how we had gotten together. It had been shortly after I had started filming Nobuta wo Produce. Jin had started to act increasingly weird – he had always been in a bad mood, grumpy and snappy, as if everything and everyone seemed to bother him._

_Still, instead of being moody for himself, he had turned up at my house each and every night after I had finished filming, staying over without talking much. Mostly, we had just sat next to each other, watching TV or something._

_It had started to get on my nerves. Not that I didn’t want him around – actually, I was happy whenever he was – but his behavior was getting to me. I had wondered if I had done something, or if something had happened which he didn’t want to tell me about… It was not normal, that much was for sure._

_One night, when I had tried to make conversation, I had snapped. I had told him about a scene Pi and I had messed up at the set, and Jin’s only reaction to the in my eyes incredibly funny story had been to huff and take a sip of his drink, frowning. I had glared at him._

_“What the heck is wrong with you?!” I had demanded. “Why are you so pissed?!”_

_“I’m not” he had murmured, but I had only rolled my eyes at him, responding: “You are! Did I do anything to make you mad?! If so, tell me, goddamnit!!”_

_He had been silent, at first, and I had been so close to just throw him out of my flat when he had answered: “Stop talking so much about Pi!”_

_I had blinked, wondering if I had misheard him._

_“Excuse me?”_

_“What’s so great about Pi, anyway?!” he had asked grumpily, hugging his knees to his chest, reminding me of a little boy who had been told to go to bed._

_“You tell me” I had scoffed. “He’s your best friend, after all.”_

_“He’s boring” he had continued, as if he hadn’t heard me. “Half of the time he naps off on you anyways!”_

_“Okay” I had said slowly, shaking my head incredulous. “When has this turned into a conversation about Pi?!”_

_“You’re spending too much time with him” he had murmured, glaring._

_“I’m working with him” I had remembered him. “I don’t think I have a choice!”_

_“But still, the way he always clings to you, leaning on your shoulder and acting all lovey-dovey… I hate it!” he had groaned._

_“It’s his role, Jin!” I had argued, exasperated._

_“Still. I hate it” he had repeated, pouting._

_“I don’t get it” I had given up, confused. “What is this about?! I-“_

_But I had been cut off from continuing when Jin had suddenly turned to me, grabbing me at my shoulders, pressing his lips on mine. I had been too shocked to react at first. Then Jin had broken away again, looking me into the eyes, unsure and a little scared._

_“I don’t want you to spend that much time with others” he had whispered. “I want you to be mine.”_

_For a second, I only had stared at him, trying to take in what he had just said. And another second. And another… Then I burst out laughing, not being able to help myself._

_Jin had gaped at me, taken aback._

_“Kame?” he had asked quietly, shaking me where he was still grabbing my shoulders. “You’re not supposed to laugh here. I’m serious, you know? Hey!”_

_I bit my lip, trying to get a grip of me again, grinning up at him as unknown happiness spread through me, making me giddy._

_“Baka!” I breathed, chuckling and shaking my head._

_Jin had only frowned, displeased with my answer, before I had leaned up, kissing him._

_He had not been that grumpy anymore afterwards._

Remembering those days made me want to cry. Even more if I imagined him kissing someone else now.

**Please come back to me  
That time will no longer come back**

I met Nakamaru back on my way to the studio, and I tried my best to smile naturally when I saw him, but judging from his worried look, I couldn’t have been very convincing.

When we went back inside, Taguchi and Koki acted especially cheerful, probably to distract me from any more thoughts about Jin, but it didn’t really help. Nor did Ueda’s comforting hand on my shoulder.

I envied Jin on being able to find a new love. I wondered if I would ever be able to do it. It seemed that when I had given my heart to Jin, I had really given it away. He still had it with him, and there was no way for me to get it back. It had been something final, not to be changed.

Maybe Jin’s feelings hadn’t been as deep as mine. Or maybe it was just easier to be the one leaving instead of being the one to be left behind. I didn’t know what made the difference, in the end – but fact was that he had moved on, and I was still here, lingering.

**Can no longer find another to love as much  
I can’t forget you**

Sometimes, when I woke up these days, I still didn’t dare to open my eyes. I would hug my pillow close, pretending that Jin was here with me. Remember his smell, the way his hair would be a mess in the morning, remember the warmth of his skin, the way he would get whiny when I woke him, begging me to stay in bed, to not get up, to cuddle instead…

 **Who are you being held by as you fall asleep tonight?**  
Still, you are dear to me  
  
I tried to focus on work, but it was hard. Everywhere I looked, I saw Jin. It still seemed unnatural that KAT-TUN was only five people now. It was so obvious that someone was missing, and every time I remembered, the pain rushed through me like a knife in my chest.

I still cursed him for having to leave. For leaving me alone like that.

 **It has been a long time since I’ve been with my friends**  
The same faces, the same place  
But one thing is different, you are not here  
  
No matter what I said to the others, I missed him. I missed him like hell. So much that sometimes, when I went to bed at night, I would wish that I wouldn’t wake up the next day.

And no matter what I said, they knew. Everyone knew. That was why everyone looked at me with this unbearable pity in their eyes.

I just wanted it to stop. To make it all go away.

**Please come back to me  
That time will no longer come back**

It was a relief when the day ended, and I could finally go home. It was a strain to act all the time.

Nakamaru walked outside with me, and I was glad when he had to part the moment we walked out of the agency buildings. I was thankful, for once, that none of the guys lived near my flat.

I waved goodbye to him, but Nakamaru stared after me as I went, suddenly calling: “Don’t you want to call him?”

I stood, frowning at myself, gulping. I didn’t trust myself to talk about it without breaking down. It was all too much.

**A season that dazzling will not appear a second time**

Still, I turned around to him, trying to smile.

“Even if I did, it wouldn’t work out” I told him, not only trying to convince him, but also myself. “Things are just too difficult for that. By the way, Jin has probably already long forgotten me!”

“He hasn’t!” Nakamaru protested, his voice firm and sure. “He doesn’t talk about it anymore when I call him, but… I know that he still misses you, Kame.”

“You are wrong” I responded, shaking my head. “He is the one in a new relationship, not me. He has moved on.” Not me. I let the last two words hang in the air, not saying them, but I bet Nakamaru could hear them anyways.

Nakamaru didn’t answer, and I just turned around without another word, walking away from him.

 **I can’t forget you**  
Who are you being held by as you fall asleep tonight?  
And what are you praying for?

As I went home, I saw Jin everywhere – at the train station, studying the time table; in the train, sitting next to me, telling me about that movie he had watched last night; walking down the streets with me, telling me to buy Ramen on our way home.

He seemed so present that it destroyed me from the inside. I wondered if I was ever going to stop imagining him by my side.

**That station, that platform  
I have a feeling that I saw you**

When I finally arrived at home, I immediately went into the bedroom, closing the door behind me as I stared at his side of the bed. I still thought of it as his side, even if he hadn’t slept here once in the past months.

I sat down on it, opening the drawer of the bed side table. Inside were things that I had not brought over me to throw away, but that I still had stuffed away to not have to look at them every day: One of Jin’s old T-Shirts, which he had used for sleeping; a few photos; a necklace he had given me two years ago on Christmas; all the stuff that was left over from our relationship, a sad reminder of all those years that I had loved him, only to stay alone in the end.

I took out the T-Shirt, hugging it close, breathing in. It still smelled like Jin. I teared up, biting my lip to keep my emotions in check as I reached for all the photos, skipping through them. Some were really old, from when we had still been teenagers, and some had been taken just months before we had broken up. Jin had this odd habit to take photos in the most bizarre situations, like when I had been lying in bed half-dead and was cuddling into him, or when he had snug in on me while I was brushing me teeth.

The tears fell freely as I looked through the photos, wetting the T-Shirt in my arms. Jin had been with me for almost as long as I could remember. How would I manage to spend my life without him from now on?

**Please come back to me  
That time will no longer come back**

The doorbell rang, and I gulped, frantically running my hands over my cheeks to get rid of the tearstains. It was probably not much use, though. I knew what I looked like when I had cried; all puffy eyed and flushed. It would be hard to hide it.

Still, I placed Jin’s things back in the drawer, getting up to open the door. I didn’t want anyone to break it down in worry for me (which could actually happen, knowing my older brothers).

When I finally opened the door, though, I wondered if I was seeing things again. But usually, I realized when I was daydreaming.

“Jin…?” I gasped in surprise.

Jin looked back at me, not looking much better than I probably did. His dark eyes were bloodshot and he seemed desperate, his eyes locking on mine as if they were his only chance for survival.

“Can I please come in?” he asked, his voice sore. “I need to talk to you. Please.”

I just stared at him for a moment, trying to realize that he was really here. Then, I stood aside hesitantly, letting him walk past me, inside. Jin whispered a thank you as he slipped out of his shoes. I stared at him, watching every movement of his as if in a daze. He had cut his hair, I noticed; not too much, but it didn’t fall in the beautiful long waves I used to love so much anymore. It made him seem younger, somehow.

We walked into the living room, sitting down on the couch, not looking at each other. There was a tense silence, and I desperately tried to find my voice to speak.

“Why are you here?” I asked when I had managed.

“Kazu, I…” he whispered, shaking his head before looking up at me. He seemed pained. “I tried… I swear I tried. But it just doesn’t work out. I can’t love anyone but you!” I lost my breath at his words, my throat tightening up so much that it felt like I was going to choke. Jin continued: “Every time I kissed her, I saw you in front of my eyes! I just can’t do this anymore, Kazu! I need you! I want you back in my life!”

**Can no longer find another to love as much  
I can’t forget you**

I was unable to answer; I just stared back at Jin, wondering if he was really saying what I thought he was saying.

“Kazu…” he whispered again, pleading, before he pulled me into a hug. He held me close, and it became even harder to breathe… His scent was everywhere, surrounding me, making me unable to think.

Finally, I regained control over my brain, and pushed him away, taking a deep breath.

“Jin” I whispered, my voice raspy from the emotion. “We can’t do this.”

“Why not?” he demanded, his voice high-pitched. “Don’t tell me that you don’t have feelings for me anymore, Kazu, because I can see it in your eyes that you still do! I know you, Kazu!

“Jin, just think!” I protested. “Think about how difficult it has been in the last few years! We will never be able to lead a normal relationship! We’ll always have to hide, we’ll lose our jobs if we are found out-“

“I don’t care!” Jin interrupted me, but I kept on talking, each and every argument I had found myself to forget about Jin pouring out of me.

“You always wanted a family, remember? I can’t give you that! In a few years, you’ll find out that you want more, and then? Then I’ll be even more heartbroken than I already am!”

“That’s not the way things will go, Kazu!” he promised, reaching for my hand, but I pulled it away from him, standing up to shout at him.

“You were the one who left!” I yelled. “You already wanted more, and you left me behind for it! So don’t say you’re not gonna do it again!”

Tears were running down my face again, and I took in a deep breath, willing them to stop, but it was no use. Jin looked up at me, and I could see tears in his eyes as well.

“I’m sorry, Kazu” he choked. “When I agreed to go to America, I did not think about the possibility that I could lose you with it. I thought that we could work it out… It wasn’t until you broke up with me that I realized that this was all too much for you.”

He stood as well, taking a few tentative steps towards me.

“I don’t need anything else” he continued. “I don’t need a normal life. If the time comes, I don’t  even need my job any longer. What is the use if I have all the success in the world, but die alone in the end?”

He took a few more steps towards me, taking my hand. This time, I didn’t pull away.

“I need you in my life, Kazu” he whispered. “I can’t be happy without you. I don’t know how to make it through the day if I don’t at least know that I can call you when I come home, hear your voice and know that you are alright. I don’t need my own children! What would I want children for if I can’t have them with you?! And if we feel like we want some in the future, we’ll research the possibilities of adoption! I’ll do everything, Kazu! Everything! So please-“ he pulled me back into his arms, clinging to me for dear life. “Please don’t tell me we can’t make it work!”

Every word of his hit me like a bomb, destroying all my self-defenses, letting me sink together, into Jin’s arms. I was sobbing hard by now, leaning into him, and he held me, whispering my name into my ear, crying with me.

“I love you” I breathed out between my sobs. “I love you so much, Jin!”

“This is the first time you said it” he noted, sniffing. “You never said it before.”

“I’m sorry” I whispered, and Jin pushed me aside a little to look at me.

“I love you too, baka” he murmured before kissing me, with so much passion that I felt like I was going to break down from the force of it. Jin held me close, though, keeping me on my feet.

I don’t know how long we stood there, just kissing, but at some point, we needed to break apart for air. I leaned into Jin, resting my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes as I tried to control my breathing. I felt one of Jin’s hands drawing gentle circles on my back, as if trying to calm me down, and he nuzzled his nose into my shoulder, breathing in.

He pulled me down onto the couch again after a while, and we just held each other for a little longer, not talking, just enjoying being near each other again.

Our little comfy bubble burst when Jin’s cell phone started to ring, breaking us out of our trance. I looked at Jin, and he frowned as he got it out of his pocket, looking at the caller ID. I followed his eyes, gulping at the name.

_Aubree_

**Who are you being held by as you fall asleep tonight?**

Jin put the phone onto the couch table, letting it ring until it finally went to mailbox. I stared ahead, not looking at him. Jin tried to catch my eyes.

“Kazu…”

“Did you break up with her?” I asked, wanting to clarify things. I would not be an affair, that much was for sure.

“Of course I did!” Jin said immediately, and I breathed out a sigh of relief. “It’s not like we’ve really been together, even. She told me that she liked me, and then I went on a few dates with her, because I just wanted to try to feel something for anyone but you… But it didn’t work. She is an awesome girl, and everyone would be lucky to have her, but all I could think about was you! And then, after this one time we were out for dinner, she asked me if I didn’t want to come up to her apartment with her… and I just knew that I couldn’t! It felt like betraying you, even though we were no longer together, and then I just… I told her there was someone else, and took the next flight to Tokyo.”

Jin’s cell phone interrupted him again, this time with a text message. Probably from Aubree as well.

“She doesn’t seem to be taking it very well” he added, weakly.

“It’s not like I can’t understand her” I murmured sadly. “It’s hard to let you go.”

Jin frowned, taking my face into both of his hands, making me look up at him.

“You are totally different from her” he clarified. “She’s known me for what, half a year?! You’ve known me for an eternity, Kazu! And there’s no one out there who knows me like you do… We’ve been through so much together… Don’t you dare compare yourself to her! You are way too special for that.”

“If I’m that special… Would you promise me something?” I murmured, searching his eyes.

“Everything” Jin breathed, resting his forehead against mine, our gaze never breaking.

“Don’t ever kiss anyone else again, no matter if girl or boy” I whispered. “I can’t take to even imagine that-“

Jin cut me off with his lips on mine, knocking my breath out of me, and I closed my eyes, kissing him back. When we broke apart again, he whispered: “I promise. No one but you.” And we sank into another kiss.

We kissed like there was no tomorrow, trying to make up for all the time that we had lost since our break up, and even when we broke apart to breathe, Jin’s lips were still all over me – on my neck, that little spot behind my ear that I loved so much, my collarbone… Before I knew it, Jin had begun unbuttoning my shirt, his hands roaming the skin of my chest, and I felt like everything fell back into place. It was like I had lost a part of me when Jin had left, and now he was back, and I was complete again. I let myself fall into that feeling, and into Jin’s care.

He kissed down my chest, lingering to give special care to my nipples, and I leaned against the couch cushions, moaning softly at his touch. His fingers continued to massage them as he kissed down my stomach, licking my belly button teasingly before moving his hands down to my jeans, unbuttoning it.

I let him undress me, and when he had pulled my jeans and my boxer briefs down my legs, he pressed open mouthed kisses against the inside of my thighs, making me shiver. Then he looked up at me, catching my eyes before he moved down on me, taking me into his mouth. I moaned, my hands flying to knot in his silky hair, holding him close, signaling him to _just not stop_. He twirled my tongue against me, and I whispered his name. Gosh, how much had I missed that. How much had I missed _him._

One of Jin’s hands stayed securely on my thigh to steady himself, the other traveled in between my open legs, towards my bottom. I gasped when Jin finger traced my hole, tickling it. Much to my dismay, he stopped, looking up at me.

“Lube?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Same place as always” I murmured, suppressing a groan as he got up. He smiled, bending down to kiss me once more on the lips, gently.

“Don’t move” he whispered, disappearing into the bedroom.

I don’t think I could have even if I wanted to – I was still breathless from Jin’s ministrations and too lazed by lust to do anything much then lean back, close my eyes and linger in the feeling until Jin came back.

When I opened my eyes again, Jin had gotten rid of his T-Shirt and his baggy pants, kneeling down in front of me again, pressing some lube into his right hand. My eyes caught his and we stared at each other, our eye contact not breaking as Jin lead his fingers back to my hole, massaging it some more before entering a finger.

I leaned my head back against the couch cushions, closing my eyes, dealing with the uncomfortable sensations for a moment. It had been a while, I could feel it, and I think Jin could too, because he went extra slow, moving his finger inside me with care, stretching and stroking.

He started licking up and down my shaft again, distracting me from the other sensations, and I relaxed a little, moaning as Jin licked over my tip. He entered a second finger then, hollowing his cheeks around me as he did so, and I felt overwhelmed by it, letting out a breathy whimper. It was then that Jin hit my prostate with his fingers, and my whole body tensed up. I saw white as pleasure ran through me, and I moaned, not wanting to wait any longer.

“Jin” I breathed. “Please, I… I need you… now…”

He obliged, and I was glad about it. I was not up for a fight over control of this situation, not tonight. Jin removed his fingers, looking up at me again, thinking, as if trying to figure out logistics. Then he stood again, kissing me before breathing against my mouth: “Lay down on your back.”

I nodded, squirming from my position to lie horizontally on the couch, my head resting against the armrest. Jin removed his underwear unceremoniously before joining me on the couch, kneeling between my legs, pulling me a little further down, worried about my neck getting stiff. I smiled at his concern, doing as he said.

Then, Jin bent down to kiss me again, his lips touching mine as he entered me slowly. I moaned at the long lost feeling, ecstatic at the sensation of having him inside of me again.

“I missed you so much” Jin whispered, and his voice itself was so soft that the words were another caress, blending into the big mix of sensations I was drowning in. “I’m never going to let you go again, Kazu…”

With that, he pulled out slightly and thrust into me again, a little too hard, so that I had to brace myself against the armrest with my hands to not hit my head.

“Sorry” he apologized, his voice strained, and I only chuckled, kissing him to make him continue. He was more careful after that, and I moved my hands back to him; one resting on his back, the other returning into his hair.

Jin and I moved with each other in perfect synch, and now I remembered why we fit so well together – sure, we fought, sometimes we differed so much that people would wonder why we were even friends, but when it came down to only the two of us, and this, we would always work out, and that was what mattered.

Jin thrust in with a new angle, and hit that one spot again, making me cling to him, panting. He kept that angle, quickening his pace, and I felt like I was sitting in a joyride of a theme park – rising higher, higher and higher, the tension building until I felt like I couldn’t take it anymore, and then arriving at the peak, and free falling, Jin holding me as I drowned in the passion, coming.

Jin followed me soon after, and I don’t know how long we’d lain there, tangled into a lump of bones, breathless, just holding each other, coming down from our highs.

When Jin finally spoke, he had to repeat himself, because I was too lost into my own world at first, not catching it.

“Hm?” I asked, opening my eyes to look up at him.

“You gained weight” he whispered, chuckling. I frowned.

“Thanks a lot. That’s very flattering.”

He laughed, cuddling me close.

“I don’t mean it in a bad way. You know how you used to be super thin. Now, you’re almost normal. What happened?”

“I had an affair with Häagen Dasz while you were gone” I murmured lazily, closing my eyes again.

Jin propped his head up, frowning at me.

“Who?!”

I smirked, rolling my eyes under my closed eyelids.

“Ice Cream, Jin!”

“Oh” was his only response, biting his lip in embarrassment as he snuggled into me again. I snickered, for a moment wondering at myself how I could have missed _that_ , but then I took in Jin’s scent with a deep breath, throwing the thought away again.

**Still, I am in love with you.**

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted: http://vflmaeuschen.blog.com/2011/08/23/one-shot-please-come-back-to-me/  
> http://vflmaeuschen.livejournal.com/45121.html  
> http://vflmaeuschen.livejournal.com/45501.html  
> http://vflmaeuschen.livejournal.com/45719.html


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